Today, after a long, long time, I'm writing down my emotions. This isn’t to show off or to let anyone know that I’m going through something significant. It’s just to motivate myself, to keep pushing, and to keep believing.
It’s been two years since I got married, and this has changed me a lot as a person. It has shown me my true colors, made me weak and emotional, but strong at the same time. Honestly, the job I do today isn’t something I love. With all due respect, it’s not what I’m destined to do. I’ve been working in corporate life for the last ten years, and despite that, I haven’t achieved anything that would inspire someone or make my parents feel proud of me. I don't blame anyone but myself, because I haven’t gone in the direction I should have. I didn’t have a mentor who could guide me.
It was during the COVID time that I realized money isn’t everything, but at the same time, it is. You need enough money to secure your family, and you need to be fit to do that. Your health makes you rich, not money—but your money keeps your reputation intact. Relatives and so-called friends lick your boots when you have money, but those same people forget you when you need them.
I’ve helped a few individuals throughout their lives, literally made them who they are today. But despite knowing what’s going on in my life, they don’t bother to help me out—they don’t give a damn at all. Right now, I’m going through a massive financial crunch. I could just go to my cousin brothers and tell them I need their help, but I’m unable to do so. My father always taught me to stand on my own and never beg, and that’s what I’m trying to do—just pushing myself, not giving up. I believe in myself, in my actions, and in the Almighty as well.
Tough times often come to show us where we stand and what needs to improve. I’m glad this has taught me a lot—it’s shown me the true colors of people, and it’s helped me understand the world better. I’m furious, clueless, and numb, but one thing’s for sure: I’m a sportsman. I know how to stand tall in tough situations. I’m not going to give up. I’ll rip apart every single door that tries to shut my life down.
You know what? My salary is 40k, but I’m paying 80k every month by taking one loan after another to close them one by one. It’s shattered me into pieces. I’ve had to beg a lot of people lately, but only a few have helped—two to be exact: Kamlesh and my own brother Mahesh. Apart from these two, every other so-called friend has just watched my sorrows and didn’t care at all. You know why? Because of myself. I helped many people financially, ended up with no money, and became a debtor instead. Haha, such is the world—you help them in their tough times, but when it’s their turn, suddenly they’re either deaf or blind.
I love cricket. I’ve been associated with it for the last 25 years, always dreaming of playing for the country. But in this country, every second kid dreams of that—not everyone is fortunate enough to do it. After being a slave to the corporate world for the last ten years, I’ve come to a point where I realize I should invest my time in what I love most, in what I’m skilled at. The knowledge I possess in that field might not give me success overnight, but if I give it my all, it will pay off. At least I won’t have regrets for not giving it a try. The pathetic corporate world has sucked the life out of me—I can’t breathe anymore. I want to break free and feel alive again.
Sir Ratan Tata recently passed away, and this man surely inspired a lot of us. I will never forget him. He’s had a significant impact on each of us. I have a lot more to write, but I’ll keep it short for now. I’ll give you updates every three months. I’m taking action from today, right now, and I will try to change myself, pushing towards achieving short-term goals. I’m going to rule my world. I said mine, not the entire world. The people who know me will see my success. See you soon.
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